Friday, March 14, 2014

Haiku for Each Girl he Slept with...

  1. The haiku form is
    Of an appropriate length
    To describe this fuck
  2. When I handcuffed you
    It was so insanely hot
    I came in my jeans
  3. We used to have sex
    So we didn’t have to talk
    Now we do neither
  4. We had a threesome
    You, me and my depression
    Depression fucks hard
  5. I shouted my love
    From the rooftops before I
    Very nearly jumped
  6. You didn’t like me
    But you did like my writing
    I guess that’s enough
  7. Entangled, twitching
    We came down as cenotaphs
    Numb with limbless minds
  8. Tried your fantasy
    And pretended to rape you
    It felt a bit forced
  9. You learned of my pain
    And said you’d try to fix me
    That wasn’t your job
  10. You weren’t attractive
    But alcohol and codeine
    Made a mess of me
  11. You liked to be choked
    You stuffed animals for fun
    You were just my type
  12. Halfway through you sobbed
    Said you were touched as a child
    I stopped and held you
  13. 13 is bad luck
    But three’s a lucky number
    14 would agree
  14. It wasn’t awkward
    It was just double the fun
    That’s arithmetic
  15. Puked everywhere
    And then fell into a bush
    You still wanted me
  16. Our contrasting skin
    Meant some passersby would stare
    And we just loved it
  17. You were a model
    Who found me through my writing
    Thank you, internet
  18. We made a sex tape
    I hope I find it before
    My family does
  19. I whipped you too hard
    Inadvertently drew blood
    Apologised quick
  20. Cars drove by as I
    Fingered you at a bus stop
    (A romantic date)
  21. It’s strange to think it
    But before you miscarried
    Was I a father?
  22. We both bared it all
    Online for our followers
    In different ways
  23. “You don’t care” you said
    So I pretended to cry
    And then we had sex
  24. You liked taking charge
    And I went along with it
    Out of laziness
  25. I tried to whip you
    Then I hit my testicles
    It ruined the mood
  26. It took twenty five
    Twenty five misconnections
    Before I found you

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